some chill ass chick

emilea pronounced emily. 23 y/o from vancouver I like egypt a lot
snapchat: emilearayebitch instagram: doctorsleaze

im wearing vera wang at my wedding

DID YOU HEAR ME 

IM WEARING

VERA WANG

AT

MY

WEDDING

DREAMS COME FUCKING TRUE FUCK

Reblogged from kayz121, Posted by kayz121.
nobody is my favorite person as much as she is

nobody is my favorite person as much as she is

Reblogged from xlovediamonds, Posted by xlovediamonds.
Reblogged from karadelevagina, Posted by karadelevagina.
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my mom passed away after I got a phone call from a social worker at a hospital on July 27th, 2014. essentially they wanted my permission to take her off of the life support she had been on that day. I live in the apartment building beside hers, which I moved in to to try and help her carry groceries and bring her meals and to overall improve our relationship. the week before she had called me a dozen times in the evening because she had fallen and couldn’t get up. I was finally roused from my sleep at 1am and went over to her building, but even when I got her up from the floor I could tell there was something much worse going on. she immediately demanded that I light her a cigarette and pour her a drink and get her pills, which I did of course but with tight lips and a heavy heart. and then she fell once again, hissing and hurling insults at me while losing complete control of her bowels. her rudeness and negativity towards me was tied to the alcoholism I had been dealing with since I was 11. I called an ambulance around 2am and cried until 3:30, having the great sinking feeling that that was the last time I would see my mom.

she was in an intensive care unit and the social worker took me and Max, my fiance, without ANY WARNING in to the room they had hooked her up to all these life support machines. she was yellow, had ascites (when your stomach expands a grotesque amount because of a buildup of fluid), all the symptoms of end-stage liver disease I had seen half a dozen times over before during her trips in to hospital care. I started to cry and the nurse quickly rushed over to me and told me she was having a massive bleed out and they couldn’t find where it was coming from. there was a device down her esophagus, like a balloon, to press against her throat to stop her bleeding. she had gone in to a coma earlier on in the day. there was a 0 percent chance of her survival. I know this disease very well and I know how much pain she must have been in. I know that your kidneys shut down (my mom only had half a kidney when she passed away from previous internal disease), you bleed from every orifice including your fingernails… its an ugly truth to something people use on a weekly or daily basis, and if you don’t watch your intake you can become a victim of this terrible disease too. she died at 3:43 PM that day, an hour after I left the hospital, agreeing to take her off of the machinery that was keeping her alive.

my mom told a lot of lies about me, accusing me of being an alcoholic and once even telling her friends how awful I was and how I was in a prostitution ring - I have yet to come to terms with a lot of the traumatizing fights that her lies about me brought on, none of which have any basis to being true (I went on to post-secondary, have a career and a fiance…), not to mention some of the physical force she had used when I was around 19 and 21 years old. there are a few incidents that I will never forgive her for. when she was first hospitalized with cirrhosis, I visited her after school, my stepdad having told me how low her hemoglobin count was and that he wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to pull through, and she told me that I was the reason that she was in the hospital. she was nasty when she drank, would laugh in my face when I came to her with a problem, call me names like “whore” and say things to put me off feeling good about myself, but when she was sober she was just exhausted. she would sleep strange hours - all a part of this disease she denied ever having - from 6 am to 6 pm. during her last years she wouldn’t eat, and I never saw my mother drink a glass of water. on top of not eating she was constantly confused and having a conversation with her was incredibly frustrating. my only friends who ever met her were people that I trusted entirely because I was so embarrassed of her. you actually lose your parent many years before they die. there are a lot of complicated feelings tied in to end-stage liver disease, especially when she ALWAYS denied her alcoholism, but in any case she was still my mom and she is now at peace.

she was a wonderful, bright and hilarious woman from what I can remember in the past. when my grandmother died when I was 7 she began drinking very heavily every day to the point where she wouldn’t be able to pick me up from school. I will always love and respect her as my mother, but not the one I needed as a growing child and teenager. she was an extremely business-savvy woman, financially intelligent, holistic, kind-hearted, wise and strong. my mother allowed her depression to get the better of her and to poison her mind and body with the drink was the only coping mechanism she could muster. it is with a heavy sense of relief that I know she is at peace and with my grandmother.

I am told to try my hardest to remember the positive memories of my mom but it is hard when there are so few of them, most of which are on VHS tapes and in the minds of my relatives and my godmother. I am now 23 years old and I found out 3 days after she passed away that I am pregnant with her grandchild, something that was very planned and was a great blessing in light of the darkness. I have been thinking of putting something together to start a support group for people who have lost their parent or parents to liver disease, whether they have passed away yet or not because it is an incredible emotional struggle that I will deal with for the entirety of my life and I imagine there are other people that don’t want to fight alone too. if you have any ideas or similar stories you would like to share, please e-mail hairbyemilea@gmail.com :) XO

Reblogged from midwestflexin, Posted by cumprise.

(Source: cumprise)

ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

Reblogged from zachexe, Posted by cali-cocaine.
totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

(Source: cali-cocaine)

Reblogged from zachexe, Posted by australianpikachu.
australianpikachu:

australianpikachu:

australianpikachu:

*leaves facebook forever*